survey found here: elloteekay.com
underlined statements apply to me

I am a boy.
I am a girl.
I am shorter than 5'4.
I have many scars.
I tan easily.
I wish my hair was a different color.
I have friends who have never seen my natural hair color.
I have a tattoo.
I want a tattoo.
I am self-conscious about my body.
I've been told I'm attractive by a complete stranger.
I have more than 2 piercings.
I have a piercing in a place other than my ears
I have freckles.
I've sworn at my parents.
I've run away from home.
I've been kicked out of the house.
I have a sibling less than one year old.
I want to have kids someday.
I'm in school.
I've lost a child.
I have a job.
I've fallen asleep at work/school.
I always do/did my homework.
I've missed a week or more of school.
I failed more than 1 class last year.
I've stolen something from my job.
I've slipped out a "lol" in a spoken conversation.
Disney movies still make me cry.
I've peed from laughing.
I've snorted while laughing.
I've cried from laughing so hard.
I've glued my hand to something. oh god >_<
I've had my pants rip in public.
I was born with a disease/impairment.
I've broken a bone.
I've gotten stitches/staples.
I've had my tonsils removed.
I've sat in a doctor's office/emergency room with a friend.
I've had my wisdom teeth removed.
I had a serious surgery.
I've had chicken pox.
I've had measles.
I've driven over 200 miles in one day.
I've been on a plane.
I've been to Canada.
I've been to Mexico.
I've been to Niagra Falls.
I've been to Japan.
I've been to Africa.
I've been to Hawaii.
I've gotten lost in my city.
I've seen a shooting star.
I've wished on a shooting star.
I've seen a meteor shower.
I've gone out in public in my pajamas.
I've pushed all the buttons on an elevator. hihihi
I've kicked a guy where it hurts.
I've been to a casino.
I've been skydiving.
I've gone skinny dipping.
I've played spin the bottle.                            
I've drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour.
I've crashed a car.
I've been skiing.
I've been in a play.
I've met someone in person from Facebook.
I've caught a snowflake on my tongue.
I've seen the Northern lights.
I've sat on a roof top at night.
I've played chicken.
I've played a prank on someone
I've ridden in a taxi.
I've seen Rocky Horror Picture Show.
I've eaten sushi.
I've been snowboarding.
I'm single.
I'm in a "it's complicated" relationship
I'm in a relationship.
I'm engaged.
I'm married.
I've gone on a blind date.
I've been the dumped more than the dumper.
I miss someone right now.
I have a fear of abandonment.
I've gotten divorced.
I've had feelings for someone who didn't have them back.
I've told someone I loved them when I didn't.
I've told someone I didn't love them when I did.
I've kept something from a past relationship.
I've had a crush on a teacher.
I've been kissed in the rain.
I've hugged a stranger.
I have kissed a stranger.
I've done something I promised someone else I wouldn't.
I've done something I promised myself I wouldn't.
I've snuck out of my house.
I have lied to my parents about where I am.
I am keeping a secret from the world.
I've cheated while playing a game.
I've cheated on a test.
I've ran a red light.
I've been suspended from school.
I've witnessed a crime.
I've been in a fist fight.
I've been arrested.
I've passed out from drinking.
I have passed out drunk at least once in the past 6 months.
I've smoked.
I've smoked weed.
I've taken painkillers when I didn't need them.
I've eaten mushrooms.
I've popped E. (note: not sure)
I've inhaled Nitrous.
I've done hard drugs.
I have cough drops when I'm not sick.
I have 3 pills at a time no problem.
I have been diagnosed with depression.
I have been diagnosed with one or more anxiety disorders.
I've taken an anti-depressant.
I have been anorexic or bulimic
I've slept an entire day without needing to go pee.
I've hurt myself on purpose.
I've woken up crying.
I'm afraid of dying.
I hate funerals.
I've seen someone dying.
Someone close to me has committed suicide.
I've written a eulogy for myself.
I own over 5 rap CDs.
I own an IPod or an MP3 player.
I have an unhealthy obsession with anime/manga.
I own something from Hot Topic.
I own something from Pac Sun.
I collect comic books.

(questionaire stolen from chloerose88.tumblr.com)
things i have done are underlined

Gotten a new piercing.
Dyed my hair.
Ended a relationship.
Started a new relationship.
Been on a long car/bus journey.
Passed an exam.
Met someone who's now an important part of my life.
Cried on someone's shoulder.
Had a massive fight with a boy/girl.
Received flowers.
Had a Valentine.
Written a letter using pen & paper.  
Gone to see a therapist.
Been prescribed medication by a doctor.
Read a really good book.
Gone to the zoo.
Spent too much money on unnecessary things.
Traveled by train.
Cried over a member of the opposite sex.
Spent the day out in the sun getting a tan.
Slammed a door out of frustration.
Had an anxiety attack.
Babysat for a friend's child.
Had a BBQ.
Gone to the fair.
Gone bowling.
Seen a film at the cinema in 3D.
Gone on a date.
Been the only sober one on a night out.
Helped someone home after they had been drinking.
Stayed up all night.
Talked on the phone for over two hours.
Supported someone who'd received bad news.
Watched some kind of live sporting event.
Read an entire book in one day.
Bought a DVD the day it was released.
Eaten McDonald's more than four times in a single week.
Cried as a result of exam stress.
Met some incredible new people.
Gone to great parties.
Fallen backwards off a chair.
Broken my glasses.
Worn a watch for the first time in years.
Cried over someone in the past.
Spent hours aimlessly browsing the internet.
Thrown up.
Cried over a film.
Gone out of my way to avoid an ex-boy/girlfriend.
Fought with someone in public.
Been in a relationship for a year or longer.
Cried in front of someone I adore.
Lost one of my closest friends.

yeah, it was not a good year...
i remember lots of ponies, Scott Pilgrim, having had a great job for a very short time, got my heart broken big time, started university, lost another family member, and basically a lot of crying.

(questionnaire stolen from there: yawg07.tumblr.com)

1) Do you sleep with your closet doors open or closed?
  Closed. I don't want dust on my clothes.
2) Do you take the shampoos and conditioner bottles from hotel?
  I don't to hotels often enough to know that.
3) Do you sleep with your sheets tucked in or out?
  kinda
4) Have you ever stolen a street sign before?
  I intent to, if I find an awesome one.
5) Do you like to use post-it notes?
  Kinda, yeah.
6) Do you cut out coupons but then never use them?
  My wallet is full of them... (it's my east-german blood).
7) Would you rather be attacked by a big bear or a swarm of a bees?
  The bear. (change of getting awesome cuddles)
8) Do you have freckles?
  Nope.
9) Do you always smile for pictures?
  I guess not always.
10) What is your biggest pet peeve?
  Idk. Maybe when people don't listen to me, or even fake interest.
11) Do you ever count your steps when you walk?
  Nah.
12) Have you ever peed in the woods?
  Sure, who hasn't?
13) What about pooped in the woods?
  Mmmh, I don't really remember that ever happening,
  but I guess as a smaller child probably.
14) Do you ever dance even if there's no music playing?
  Yeah... XD
15) Do you chew your pens and pencils?
  Chew may not be the right term.
  I sometimes take them between my lips or teeth and play around with them a lot.
16) How many people have you slept with this week?
  Zero
17) What size is your bed?
  1.5 person bed. Made of steel.
18) What is your Song of the week?
  I guess the Silent Running theme by 65daysofstatic.
19) Is it okay for guys to wear I pink?
  Sure.
20) Do you still watch cartoons?
  Sure.
21) Whats your least favorite movie?
  Eeeeh.... hopefully something I never watched lol
  But I guess it's something Dreamsworks made or Avatar or some mainstream bullshit.
22) Where would you bury hidden treasure if you had some?
  My room, in the open, for everyone to see.
23) What do you drink with dinner?
  Coke, lemonade or fruit beers.
24) What do you dip a chicken nugget in?
  Ketchup or sweet-sour thai sauce.
25) What is your favorite food?
  Probably pizza with a lot of weird stuff that doesn't go together.
  Eh no, I mean MUFFINS.
26) What movies could you watch over and over and still love?
  Scott Pilgrim. Scott Pilgrim. Scott Pilgrim. Scott Pilgrim. Scott Pilgrim. Scott Pilgrim.
27) Last person you kissed/kissed you?
  I don't remember D:
28) Were you ever a boy/girl scout?
  No.
29) Would you ever strip or pose nude in a magazine?
  No again.
30) When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper?
  Today.
31) Can you change the oil on a car?
  No need to.
32) Ever gotten a speeding ticket?
  Dozens ~_~
33) Ever ran out of gas?
  No, not yet.
34) Favorite kind of sandwich?
  Lots of cheese and whole bunch of weird stuff on it.
35) Best thing to eat for breakfast?
  Coffee. (yeah, that's not food, but it's the only real breakfast for me.)
36) What is your usual bedtime?
  When I am sleepy.
37) Are you lazy?
  Next.
38) When you were a kid, what did you dress up as for Halloween?
  I never celebrated this.
39) What is your Chinese astrological sign?
  Eeeeeeeehhh, I guess rat or ox. Can't remember.
40) How many languages can you speak?
  Including my mother tongue it's about 4.
41) Do you have any magazine subscriptions?
  no.
42) Which are better legos or lincoln logs?
  Legos. (I just answered a rhetorical question XD)
43) Are you stubborn?
  Yeah.
44) Who is better...Leno or Letterman?
  Never watched leno nor letterman.
45) Ever watch soap operas?
  no.
46) Are you afraid of heights?
  no.
47) Do you sing in the car?
  Of course XD
48) Do you sing in the shower?
  OF COURSE XD
49) Do you dance in the car?
  YES OF COURSE!!!! XD
50) Ever used a gun?
  A real one? no.
51) Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer?
  Mmmmh, a few months ago I guess.
52) Do you think musicals are cheesy?
  Some. Not all.
53) Is Christmas stressful?
  Nah, not really.
54) Ever eat a pierogi?
  No idea what that is.
55) Favorite type of fruit pie?
  Cherry.
56) Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid?
  A restaurator. (Yes, I am serious)
57) Do you believe in ghosts?
  no.
58) Ever have a Deja-vu feeling?
  Yeah, who doesn't?
59) Take a vitamin daily?
  Vita-what? >_< (I eat them by accident lol)
60) Wear slippers?
  no.
61) Wear a bath robe?
  I always want to, but I usually forget to. But I own one.
62) What do you wear to bed?
  Boxer shorts or nude. Sometimes socks.
63) First concert?
  Mmmmh... I guess this was a festival, with a lot of bands.
  The first one of those most have been Team Sleep or so.
64) Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart?
  No idea.
65) Nike or Adidas?
  Don't care.
66) Cheetos Or Fritos?
  Also no idea
67) Peanuts or Sunflower seeds?
  Sunflower seeds
68) Ever hear of the group Tres Bien?
  Rings a bell, but no.
69) Ever take dance lessons?
  Sorta.
70) Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing?
  Nah.
71) Can you curl your tongue?
  Yeah.
72) Ever won a spelling bee?
  No, we don't have this in germany. But I won at debates.
73) Have you ever cried because you were so happy?
  I am glad to be able to anser that with a yes.
  (even tho I can't remember at what)
74) Own any record albums?
  Like, vinyl? no.
75) Own a record player?
  My parents have one and I want it.
76) Regularly burn incense?
  No idea what that means, sorry
77) Ever been in love?
  Oh yes.
78) Who would you like to see in concert?
  65Daysofstatic, again. Anamanaguchi. Sigur Ros.
79) What was the last concert you saw?
  Mmmh, Trail of Dead.
80) Hot tea or cold tea?
  Drinkable warm.
81) Tea or coffee?
  Tea. Coffe. Tea. No, coffee. No... tea. Yeah, tea.
82) Sugar or snickerdoodles?
  Snicker-what?? sugar then.
83) Can you swim well?
  I guess so, yes.
84) Can you hold your breath without holding your nose?
  Em, sure??
85) Are you patient?
  I am pretty patient, yes.
86) DJ or band, at a wedding?
  Well. Ehm. Band, I guess.
87) Ever won a contest?
  Yeah. A reading contest, a debate contest, a photo contest...
88) Ever have plastic surgery?
  no.
89) Which are better black or green olives?
  Is there a difference??
90) Can you knit or crochet?
  I can knit a bit.
91) Best room for a fireplace?
  The beach B)
92) Do you want to get married?
  Yes. Please.
93) If married, how long have you been married?
  -
94) Who was your HS crush?
  I don't think I had a real crush in high school. Just.. well..
  it's complicated : |
95) Do you cry and throw a fit until you get your own way?
  Heh?
96) Do you have kids?
  no.
97) Do you want kids?
  Yes, at some point in my life. But not now.
98) Whats your favorite color?
  Probably turquoise.
99) Do you miss anyone right now?
  God, yes ; _ ;
  Oh god, do I miss some...

since i love doing questionaries, hate being tagged or tag others and i haven't posted anything here in like forever, i thought i steal this tagged questionary from [link] and ignore the rules XD


1. What's your favourite bug?
the Lexx or the Starbug
B)

2. What's your plans for tonight?
eating and watching a Tetsuo marathon (movie 1 to 3)

3. What's the colour of your undies? 8D
dunno, lemme take a look...
kinda dark blue-ish with thin red stripes

4. What's your favourite city in the world?
idk, haven't seen that many. probably Hamburg, Düsseldorf or Paris or Rostock.
and i bet Toronto would be cool.

5. Are you slowly becoming more like your parents?
mmmh... i guess in a few character traits, maybe yeah. but those are only the good ones of course!! *pink glasses on*

6. What are you waiting for right now?
for things to change. i tried my best to do it myself, but i failed.

7. If you where a pokemon, which one would you be?
Eevee

8. Fruity sweets or chocolaty sweets?
both. at the same time.

9. Do you like the film Avatar? If yes, WHY!?
pretty much no. as a FILM, no. as a benchmark test it's pretty cool.

10. ... no more questions.
aw... D:

still no new stuff to upload on dA, sorry.
but my Flickr [link] is overcrowded with a lot of new analogue photography.

beside that i was re-working the webpage for my mate Stryke


he did the design, i made it into a webpage and added the animations.
take a look, if you like:

take a look at my latest blog entry, in which i rant about all the things i hate about deviantART [link]

(click [here] instead, if you're using the Internet Explorer)

so, i recently did something i planned to do for nearly two years now.
as you may know, i am a fan of... well, basically everything Alan Ball has his hands on. including True Blood. and i am also a fan of Digital Kitchen, who do extremely cool video promotions, credits, ads and a vast variety of design stuff. you may know their work from the main titles of Six Feet Under or Dexter, or from the various tv ads and viral videos they have put together. so, it was to my own satisfaction when i found out that they would do the title sequence for True Blood, also!

and hell turned it out to be great!! the grunge freak in me had multiple orgasms when first watching it! what they managed there to produce is a grunge fest of so many cool and geeky methods of putting film together, it's amazing.
i could talk this through in all detail and describe why i find the main title of TB so cool and such... but either you already know it, or you better watch it right now, so you know what i am talking about! here is the link to the youtube video of it, but make sure to watch it in HD! youtube.com/watch?v=dwXuZ14-d6M [link]

so, you see, it is FULLY PACKED with GREAT IMAGERY. and even though the quality is by default rather poor, because... grunge and stuff, it comes like the rest of the series in HD.
so by natural i had to do what i did: get me a full HD version of an episode and go through the title sequence FRAME BY FRAME - it was a screenshot massacre!

turned out to be a great idea.
there are so many great pictures put into this and most of them only last for 1 frame in total! seems like a waste, but that is what you have me for. also i had to re-touch some distinctive screenshots to enhance quality and clear away the credits, so they make an even better wallpaper.

all wallpapers come in a great resolution of 1600x900. the "edits" - the screenshots i retouched - are marked with a blood-red border. have fun!

The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt!if you can raed tihs rpsoet it. OLNY PUT THIS ON YOUR PRILOFE IF YOU CAN RAED TIHS. CNAHGE THE NMUERBR AT TOP TGOHUH, "ONLY __ PEOPLE ON DA CAN READ THIS...CAN YOU?" Go up a nmuber if you can raed it...lte's see how hgih we can get!

finally, i finished working on version 3.0 - and just in time for its second birthday i can close the beta phase (which was actually online for some months now, but had a lot of bugs).

yeah, it's been exactly two years since i uploaded the first version of my tsubaka meshwork node... and it has changed a lot.
most common cool feature is that the boxes you open or closed are now saved in your cookies, so you can make your the front page layout after your interests!



eh, still don't know if this was a good idea, but i gave Doctrine Designs [link] and tsubaka.com [link] Facebook pages. nothing there yet, but you may "like" them, if you like *g+



finally working again. found a nice job as a portrait photographer and general designer in a studio only 1,5km from my apartment.

i made some grungy Personas for Firefox.
dunno if you digg them, but i kinda like them (or, some of them)

   

   

   

here's the link to my Designer's profile on GetPersonas.com:
getpersonas.com/en-US/gallery/Designer/tsubaka [link]

i seriously don't know if i'll do more in the future.
pretty much depends on your opinion, i guess, so let me know what you think ^^

i finally got me a Flickr account.
for starters i only use it for my lomography works.
i will upload more lomo works there than i do here on dA. i wanna keep my dA level of submissions to be more exclusive (plus i wanna give you a good reason to go take a look at my Flickr submissions ; )

here's the link: flickr.com/doctrinedesigns [link]


i still don't have many contacts there, so my request will be of course:

do you have a Flickr account?
then please write me a comment with the address!

i'll cut that as short as i can:
i was absent for two months, and this was unplanned. thing is, my brother died. suicide.
so i stayed at my parents for some more weeks and could not respond to anything lately.

if you're interested, i welcome you to read about the happenings in my blog:
part 1: the death of my brother [link]
part 2: my brother and i [link]
part 3: the funeral of my brother [link]

but well, i am back now. things are different. not only in my life, but also here: a new dA version, llamas everywhere (seriously, wtf?!) and more than 1600 messages to view...

and i have a few new things for the future: some nice lomography pics i shot last month, i have two shootings ahead on the weekend, working on a cool new webpage of mine, and i am finally arranging a Flickr account.

so, sorry again for being so quietly and not doing anything. more to come in the future. i am glad to be back.

EDIT: for those of you who wondered, the solution was:
"The sterile expiration of one extend life"

contest [link] closed.

and there were only two people able to get the right answer, so i make both of them a winner!
in fact i got more complaints about how impossible it is, than actual solution attempts, so i guess it actually WAS too hard. anyhow, this makes you winners even greater ^^

first one who solved it was [link]
second was [link]

congratulations to both!
now please send me your postal address in a note, so i can mail your prize ^^

okay, let's cut it short:
i once made a quintet series of grunge pictures, called "Extend Life":


thing is, you notice the text in those pictures? notice how it does not make any sense?
well, fact is: it DOES make sense. BUT: i forgot how to read it lol

seriously, i forgot how i coded the damn text and can't remember what the text says. it definitely is a meaningful sentence or sentences. i can think of some ways i may have done it, but then i thought of a nice mini contest and hand over this job to you, fellow watchers!


so, your job is to find out what the text in those pictures actually says. no hints, but i assure you it's not that hard.
first one to send me a note with the fully correct text wins.

the winner will get a free PRINTOUT version of the series, format 10x10cm, photo gloss quality. coming right to your actual mailbox, postal.

have fun, and good luck!

yeah well, see, i have still some lomography images to upload and some older grunge works that most of you fellow watchers of mine will love. but i have no intention of making any photography project in the near future.
but well, i have to do SOMEthing in the meantime. and i have this one purely digital project in mind for quite some time now, and maybe this is a good opportunity...


yeah well, before ultimately getting it done and uploaded, i would -only this time- get some opinions first.
first, have a look at this scrap i uploaded:


so, i want to do a series of images in the same style as the above one (most probably with some enhancements here and there, maybe i add textures or something...). the main focus of them will be of clear erotic nature, yet NO mature content!


well, i will quite clearly touch one or the other borderline and greyzone topics, that you can mostly only find when you particularly search for it or have exactly that fetish. so most probably some of them will definitely gross some of you out!! 'disgusting' is a keyword here.
i assume when i actually do this i would loose up to 5% of my watchers lol


well, calm done, haha XD
it will not be as bad as you may think (because YOU're naughty, not me ; )

do you remember my Lala series? if not, take a look at this picture: [link] (it wasn't intended to be erotic, or resemble a fetish at all, but the example is still a good one)
the hint is subtle, but when you think of it you can easily see why this could be a amputee fetish picture. what this picture lacks of is an erotic theme.
so imagine this picture with a clearly visible erotic theme, in the style of that sample picture of the thumb above - than you get what i have in mind!
(or how about the closeup of a woman licking an octopus's tentacle?)
it's not THAT naughty, right? ^^


see, as an artist i love being pretty open minded and teach others how to be that way. i personally don't really have a fetish at all, but i can't think of a fetish i would not tolerate. and why is that? because i do not fear what i don't understand. that is an open mind, and it's good that way.
by making art i have the feeling that i can help others with dealing with their fear by getting them to think about stuff they would not think about on their own.
new fetishes is one of them. with the Lala project i already did this (though it was more unintentionally back then).
but nethertheless: if you're my watcher you most probably already know how i love subtle-ness. and this project, if i do it, will be all about subtle hints, not showing anything specific (use your imagination instead!)


ha, yeah,... i think i have at least 3 or 4 underaged watchers...
but since i don't plan of doing actual pornography (soft erotica is g-rated for a reason!) i don't really see a problem there...
but hell, i owe them an excusion, so here it is: "pst, honey! daddy's working!"


well, depends.
write me a comment what you think of the idea so far (or ask further). if the opposition is intense enough i will drop this idea, or think about another form of release. but most probably, yeah, you're right, i do what i want and i won't change my mind from 2 or 3 opinions XD

thanks for your attention!
give me some feedback, or wait for something to happen XD
bye!

well, a bit late, but to be honest i totally missed mentioning this in a journal, so here it is anyways.


my third release in this series of grunge art digital booklets.
if you like this one and missed the first two issues, you may wanna go to DoctrineDesigns.com and download them (for free of course).

i went quite another road this time, because i barely used lyrics or text in any way. i think there is only one picture with text on it, and that's also an OLD one (hell, like 4~5 years old or so!)
i did not want to go all straight up in-your-face like i did before and enjoyed being more subtle.

it's all about moods. and i guess that's what i comes to, when you look at abstract pictures that (mostly) don't contain any visual haptics.


you can download the booklet in its entirety on dA here [link]
and of course on my homepage on DoctrineDesigns.com/downloads [link]


here you can see some of my dA uploads of pages from the booklet: